Relevant to this topic is this post
I apologize for the blurriness of some of these images. I'm still learning my new scanner.
It's amazing. How is it that so little time can pass and so much can happen? I credit my ability to handle the current life crisis to the having to deal with the one that this blog is about. You keep going because what choice do you have?
(My partner and I found my ex-husband collapsed on the floor. He had been there 2 1/2 days. But that's another story.)
This issue of the Supreme Court ruling on juveniles sentenced to life without parole has come up. I actually agree with the ruling. We as society have failed so many people. We are reaping what we've sown. We now can't sift through those with preventable issues and those who are seriously disturbed. ' Lock em up and throw away the key'. It's revenge not rehabilitation.
"Our democracy is a people's democracy, and it can be as great as people can be, but it is also as fallible as people are."
If you are wondering how this affects me, it is in the fact that Rod Ferrel was first sentenced to death as an adult after pleading guilty. That was reduced at some point to life without parole because he was 16. Anderson was sort of tagged onto Rod's case as a 'follower' and he is more likely to benefit from the decision then Rod himself. The hear say is that Rod still acts out and Anderson has distanced himself. Specifics about the supreme court ruling Here
I am a poor writer. I want to fact check myself but am so afraid to do so... What I remember and what happened maybe two different things. You've been warned.
I remember LIES
I didn't read the papers. Or watch the news. I glanced at the Lake Sentinel's coverage, with the whole thing mapped out on the front page. My parents tried to protect me from questions about relationships or sexual encounters with Rod himself arose, which I suppose someone asked me at some point. And I suppose that is when I learned that Big Media were filling in gaps, making things up, and sensationalizing what they could. I didn't watch evening news for probably a decade after that. What is true? I still ask, when listening to NPR, "How do they know that?". But at times, I fail, and just believe the stories. Sometimes I think the media has gotten better at being factual and that is when I know I've fallen back into the trap. To understand someone's story you must first acknowledge that you don't have all the facts. You must try to envision yourself in their situation.
And realize everyone has multiple stories. Chimamanda Adichie puts it best Here
Being an avid NPR listener I knew about the ruling when it first happened. (I feel it is important as a member of a global society to be kept up to date on the world. Especially for those of us in the creative class). I asked my current life partner to do the research for me, not having the strength. He did and informed me that it most likely will be years if anything happens and there is still a parole hearing and a lot of other court stuff to go through. These are the things the media don't tell you. "ALL THE YOUNG MURDERERS WILL BE SET FREE ON THE STREETS. HIDE YOUR CHILDREN AND WOMEN"
So I just sort-of went about my life. Figuring it will be years before I hear about it. Some small time passed and I got a weird sinus migraine thing and I slept over a week. Being a small business owner it's important to keep up with Facebook. So imagine my surprise when I scroll to the very bottom of my notifications and find a friend of the family posts This. She tags myself, my mother and others.
First, the friend of the family was a friend through the whole thing. I don't specifically remember her then, other then I know she was friends with my mom at the time and stood by us. She listened and didn't jump to conclusions. With the Facebook post she was just trying to communicate with us. And was probably scared herself. I tried as nicely as possible to explain about how tagging someone in something on Facebook can be problematic to dangerous. I think we are still at the beginning of social media and we all have a lot to learn. I'm not angry at her. Sad that my mom had to see it. In some ways it is good that this friend did it. It made me do more research and think more about things that I've suppressed. I had to actually read the article.
Second the writer, Frank Stanfield, was more interested in describing the atrocities that happened then going into depth. Maybe Mr. Stanfield could include when the first possible parole date could possibly be? Maybe some information rather then those choice sensational examples. Also, Mr. Stanfield has a nice plug for his book as his signature. I haven't read it. If you want to I recommend borrowing it from a library or stealing it. It's ok for me to say "It's complicated and I don't want to," but he is the professional with responsibilities. I don't believe once one is sentenced to life you start having parole dates. It's been almost 20 years. Is that when parole hearings normally start? Have the inmates you write about been on good behavior? To me it's a sensational article that is dressed up slightly to be informative. One of those articles written by a computer would have been better. I know, I'm saying hateful, shenpa-causing things. I should stop – it gets us nowhere. When do we take the responsibility for our actions that affect the whole community? Since news only sells when it's sensational, I suppose this is a losing battle for me. I suppose I should be happy that this particular writer didn't try to contact me. But honestly the types that do are usually the ones that want to make sensational TV reenactments about Vampire Cults. To make money. They pretend that it is my chance to say my side of the story and 'help other trouble teens'. They pretend that I'll have a say in what they make, but offer no legal papers for such a thing. If I don't flat out ignore them I ask if they'll be donating to the profits to some teen out reach program. They generally give up at that point. But I have to think about it all again. How did you get my address, phone number, email? It's not hard. I could be more private. Hide in my studio and lock the world out.
Why write about this today? I've been meaning to. But also, Radio Times did a story on the ruling. I tweeted and had my tweets read on air. Not the best way for me to get a complete thought across, but I think what I said was important. As always Marty Moss-Coane did a superb job at juggling multiple guests and callers. A whole hour and as in depth as our short attention spans will allow for Link to episode . I understand why Darryl Romig, the father who will be affected by this, went on the radio. I think our circumstances are very different. I've chosen the control of this very small blog over allowing more Big Media the chance to twist, sensationalize, and manipulate what I say.
Like the other guest, Mike Lyons, who works with youth in prisons, I've often thought about working with youth in prisons. Several years ago I even applied to an art teaching job to do just that. No call back. I suppose it's my past experience mixed with my white privilege that wants to give to this area. I've secretly thought about hiring parolees if my gallery business ever gets going and I can afford to pay them. Because I made mistakes. I might not have gone to prison for my mistakes.
I've marveled at how I was spared.
Yes, I spoke in front of a grand jury, or should I say, cried in front of one. And sifted through all this being-contacted-by-the-media B.S.. I've found that friends, when they didn't know me well, had a get-together and watched reenactments of me (which I haven't seen). I comforted them while they confessed to me about this several years later. If I hadn't been through what I had, maybe I would have done the same? Obviously this is nothing compared to what Heather herself has gone through. Whether I wanted it or not, I had the support of my parents. Though I have guilt for not being put on trial, I try myself all the time. I remind myself, we were never to hurt anyone, just ourselves. Not for real. I was already weird and didn't fit in. I needed to belong to something. I wanted to be cool. I was afraid of death. Afraid of not living up to my Christian upbringing. Hating the hypocrisy I saw there. Knowing there was pain in the world but never seeing it for myself. All these excuses to play a pretend game.
I know Heather would never have met Rod if it wasn't for me. That, even though maybe she didn't follow me as much as I thought then, something about me brought out her more wild side. Not much. Not probably like what you are thinking. Typical teen stuff. She wouldn't have left her folks if I wasn't going to run away and then, I bailed. And I know that she loved her parents. That I had had issues with mine. She had not had issues with hers like I had with mine. I wonder how our lives would have been different if none of this had happened. I don't see a much different path for myself, but for her, I think she would have been on a course towards something brighter. With the same wonderful man and children perhaps, but I feel like I stole a light from her. My bad luck rubbed off on to her when we were kids and evil things happened. If I had not been a linchpin would Rod Ferrel have murdered? If I had not tried to get his attention and pretended he was a real vampire, would Ruth and Rick still be with us?
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