With My Heart on My Sleeve I Appologize

It's true.  I share too much. I wear my heart on my sleeve.  Some people call my art 'honest.'  Maybe it is.  Maybe I just don't have an edit button.

I must apologize.  First, I apologize for my existence.  It's true that I didn't do the things that caused two lovely people, Ruth and Rick Wendorf , to lose their lives in such a horrible way.  It is also true that if I had not been in certain places at certain times they would be alive now, 18 years later. My apology to them for whatever part I played in ending their lives prematurely is the greatest.  I extend that apology to their family, especially to Heather and her sister.  I must also apologize to my family: the pain I caused, the awkward angst of youth and so much more.  And I apologize to all these people again because going about life, day to day, suppressing these memories isn't good enough any longer. There has been a buzzing in the back of my head for a couple of years now to do this project.  Other then this project being a blog, I do not know what form this will take.  I know it won't unfold pretty like a rose.  It will come out in bits and pieces as I remember.  It won't only be about that major event, but of all the events in my childhood and adolescence.  I also hope it will be much less wordy then this first blog and more about the art.  I'm tired of TV and film companies coming and trying to get me to tell my side of the story to 'help at-risk teenagers.'  They don't respond when I ask them which non-profit organization they'll be donating their profits to.

With Heather's blessing, I'm scheduling this post to publish on November 25th, 2014.  18 years after Heather's mom and dad (It's how I think to call them even now) were murdered.  I am hoping to honor them in this small way.